An Excellent Way To Stop Bluey Making You Feel Like A Bad Parent

It's the best kids' TV show out there but do Bluey’s parents have to be so good at parenting? It kinda like, makes me feel bad about myself.

Image courtesy of the BBC

If you’re anything like me, you read Ellis Rosen’s hilarious New Yorker essay Bluey’s Dad Thinks He’s So Great with glee last year. I read, re-read, and then forwarded to the requisite parenting WhatsApp chats like it was a new George Lewis sketch*.

The essay, tongue in cheek and full of the beaten-down resignation that (only occasionally) accompanies parenthood, outlines the complicated relationship that most of us (those of us who allow TV and screens of course) have with the show. Yes, it’s one of the best shows on TV (Succession and The Wire included), and sure it has made all of us parents cry at least once (Baby Race, c’mon) and bonus, kids love it too. But, do Bluey’s parents have to be so good at parenting? It kinda like, makes me feel bad about myself?

“Whatever, it’s fine. I don’t care. It’s just that in every single episode Bluey’s dad is engaging his kids with some really fun, imaginative activity. How does he have that kind of time? I mean, what does he even do?**” Ellis wrote. “Life just comes easy for him. You know what would happen if I took my kids to the creek? I’ll tell you right now, it wouldn’t be some gorgeously animated life lesson about overcoming fears and appreciating the natural beauty of the world. There would be a lot more trash, and I would have to make sure that my kids didn’t put the trash in their mouths, which makes me the bad guy, so now they’re in a bad mood, and I cave and just let them play with my phone.”

As someone that spends far too much time on Reddit, these days mainly in the parenting subs, I have unfiltered access to the thoughts of all sorts of parents. From the battle-hardened to the over-worriers, the parents of mutliples to the first-timers. It’s a great resource for advice that ranges from the sensible and life-changing to the outlandish and bonkers. Separating the wheat from the chafe has become a key skill.

Every so often though, a new-ish parent who’s just joined the subs and has just discovered Bluey will pipe up with some version of the same sentiment both Ellis and I share: “How dare these cartoon dogs with seemingly no financial troubles and endless amounts of time show me up? There is no way I can be as engaged, as invested, as imaginative as them. And it makes me feel shitty.”

In response, the same piece of advice is always offered to this parent who’s still figuring out the ropes. It’s been echoed across the r/Daddit community and the r/Bluey community, from r/Mommit to r/Parenting. It might be written slightly differently, but it’s always the same. And in fact, it’s helped me immensely in all areas of parenting (we do more than watch Bluey, honest), and so I’m going to share it here with you.

Bluey episodes are seven minutes long. Seven minutes is a tiny snapshot of a very long day, and that’s all we’re seeing. I bet if you look back over your day you can find plenty of seven minute windows where you fully engaged with your kid. Windows where you read to them, played with them or listened to their theories on why the grass is green and what rainbows are made of. There’s simply no reason for the creators of Bluey to show the hours the parents spend folding laundry, stressing over work emails or worrying about money (and to be fair, they do still show a fair amount of this). But, if we’re assuming the Bluey-verse is real (and at this point I’m in so deep I’m going to pretend it is) that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. We are not seeing real life in real time on screen. It’s that old social media comparison argument: we judge others on other’s curated posts, but ourselves on our reality. And let’s face it, you’re never going to win that one. 

It sounds like the worst Instagram aphorism cliché but having a very good go at shutting out the noise and focussing on doing the very best you can is the key. Remind yourself that what you’re doing might look different to what other people do, Bluey’s dad included, but that’s OK***.

But mainly remember, being Bluey’s dad all day, every day is probably not possible even for Bluey’s dad. And thank goodness, because that’s a lot of Bluey’s dad (shall I say ‘Bluey’s dad’ one more time?) But, if you can be the best parent you can for a bunch of seven minute intervals throughout the day, I’d say that’s pretty damn impressive. 

*George Lewis’ Bluey sketch is very good indeed.

**Look, I know what Chilli and Bandit’s jobs are because I’m the kind of person that researches this stuff in my spare time. Bandit is an archaeologist because dogs like digging for bones. Although, what he’s doing WFH I couldn’t tell you. Chilli works in airport security. You know, like sniffer dogs do. Clever huh? Now, if I could figure out how those two afford that house so close to the city centre, the beach and the rolling hills on those salaries, I’d be made up.

***Annoyingly, there’s a Bluey episode about this very issue if you need some encouragement. It’s called Octopus and it’s obviously, like every other Bluey episode, really bloody good.