*Actually* Simple Toddler Recipes That Aren't Lying About How Complicated They Are
No, not Ottolenghi’s 'Simple'; really simple.
God bless Joe Wicks. God bless that peppy little man with the lovely daughters and the delightful wife who kept the nation’s children fit and happy throughout lockdown. A national treasure. But, if you’re one of the people who bought his weaning book thinking, “alrigggght, simple recipes for a stressed out mum who hasn’t showered in three weeks,” and then found a recipe to MAKE CHICKEN STOCK FROM SCRATCH and had a breakdown. You’re not alone.
Look, some of us in this life are cooks. Some of us are not. I am decidedly not. I grew up in a meat and two veg house and when I first got to university I lived off a rotating diet of jacket potato, beans and cheese and Ben’s microwave rice packets paired (delectably) with Ben’s sweet and sour sauce.
These days, thanks exclusively to Rukmini Iyer’s Roasting Tin series, I can cobble together a bunch of dishes that contain green things and taste nice, but my insecurity about cooking remains. And so I often search for ‘easy’ or ‘simple’ recipes. And because the internet is wide and varied I’ve been able to continue my shy dalliance with the culinary world at a skill level that feels right for me.
So, imagine my surprise when I went searching for ‘simple toddler recipes’ and found recipes containing over 15 ingredients and using multiple pans and cooking methods. Are you kidding me Susan. I knew shady one-upping was a thing in the mum world but sous vide in a dish I’m meant to prepare in the three minutes between finishing work and nursery pick up? Respectfully, no.
If you are good at cooking and you’re nailing this whole food thing then that’s tremendous for you. But, if like me you spend nights panicking your kid is going to grow up with half as many brain cells as their foodie-parented pals all because of your crappy culinary skills then here are some actually simple dishes that are healthy(ish) to tide you over.
Carbonara Dairylea
This recent creation came to me when I was boiling some pasta for my child and I opened the fridge and thought, “hmm, what can I put with this plain pasta (that I know she will actually eat) that will make me feel better about serving her plain pasta for her main meal”. Inspired.
Ingredients
Pasta (wholegrain if you have it), any shape
One triangle of Dairylea
Frozen peas
Chunks of cooked chicken or ham
Method
Boil pasta
Chuck peas in one minute before done
Drain
Chuck in the chicken/ham and Dairylea and stir until melted
Serve
Artisnal-ish Pizza
Your kid can help you with this one if you have the time. Be warned though, like most things toddlers touch, it can get messy. I usually let Dad do it.
Ingredients
Wholegrain tortilla
Passata
Grated cheese
Veg your kid will eat
Method
Spread passata on tortilla
Sprinkle cheese
Sprinkle veg
Cook (our oven takes 10 mins on 200C but you do you)
Serve
Crumpetbeans
This is a legit meal they serve at my daughter’s criminally expensive Montessori nursery in amongst all the other whole and fresh and varied meals they get throughout the rest of the week so it’s absolutely got to have some nutritional value.
Ingredients
Crumpet
Beans (reduced sugar/salt, of course)
Method
Toast crumpet
Cook beans
Combine
Serve
Oeufs à la Petit Pois
This isn’t scrambled eggs with peas mixed in, oh no. It’s protein, it’s greens, it takes less than three minutes from start to finish.
Ingredients
One egg
Handful of peas
Method
Crack egg into bowl
Add oil
Add peas
Microwah-vay for 1 minute, mix, then repeat in 10 second increments until cooked
Serve